Where’s Jeff Goldblum when you need him?

I’ll admit it. I’m one of those teachers who wears headphones to faculty meetings and don’t take them off until we’re called to order. It’s just that I don’t want to feign interest in some chit-chat with a teacher who just happens to be sitting next to me or put up with someone’s bitching. Trust me, when I’m already stressed about all the work I have ahead of me, but can’t get to it because I’m at some lame-ass meeting about the signing-out process. I don’t need the extra irritants.

Now I’m getting worried, though. One loudmouth was going on, and I reached to check to see if my earbud fell out. It hadn’t! My defenses don’t seem to have the immunity that they once did (already at max volume). I thought I was safe, but this jabberer has figured out a way to penetrate my perimeter. It’s like when the velociraptors found a way into that kitchen in Jurassic Park.

I hope I don’t have to get too violent on this to get things back to the way they were. I’d hate to have to hurt anyone with a swift poke to the eye. Or would I?