Construction Criticism

In Maoist China, they had their Five-Year Plans. Here at Springwood Lakes High School, we have Chairman Principal Pécan. And the new five-year plan is in.

We just received an e-mail communiqué from The Comrade advising that Springwood Lakes will be getting a facelift starting this summer. The e-mail naturally ignored the fact that the school has been in a state of perpetual construction since the last Five-Year Construction Plan (begun in 1992). Those temporary buildings aren't so temporary anymore. Who knows what they have planned now.

But, none of this bothers me in the least because in a few weeks I'll be on my way to wherever the furthest point on planet is from here. Pécan's optimistic estimates on this latest phase of construction, however, have it taking--get this--at the very least--a year. Whatever the case, this presents a problem.

I'm worried that this may be the year that my hobo nest in the textbook room will finally be discovered. Even if it's not, the noise from the renovations will certainly disturb any rest I get in my hobo nest. I can just see all of the hobo teachers emerging from the school, rubbing their eyes, seeking new refuge, like woodland creatures escaping a new housing development.

Or rats fleeing a demolished building--whichever simile works best for you and your school.

Let's just hope they don't start removing asbestos or scraping away lead paint. The hobo teacher is an endangered species as it is.