Wednesday, April 28, 2010


My goodness, yesterday my classroom must have been on the route of some sort of assface parade. It was like I had every yahoo imaginable coming through my room while I was trying to teach. Yes, this happens often but with having mandatory state testing this week I only get to see about two classes a day. With so little face time, my time with the students becomes even more important.

The volunteer moms had to come into class for one final hawk for students to give a damn to raise money for next year’s prom. Unfortunately, another VM came during the second class as well. There were still no takers. How shocking.

Then a student aide, who was sent by a counselor in charge of testing materials, interrupted to collect calculators. That didn’t make sense seeing how those were collected before students were even released from their testing rooms for the day per state requirements.

After that I had a kid with a press pass looking to take pictures on a piece he was doing on the school dress code—specifically on the low-cut tops of female students. Let me tell you that it is something to hear a kid use the terms “Op-Ed” and “boobie shirts” in the same sentence. I got one of those brain freezes without enjoying an ice cream treat (a real letdown).

The next visit I counted as two assfaces. It was a kid with a hall pass from her teacher who wanted to argue a grade she got in my class—from last year. I later confirmed that was a legitimate pass she had after an angry e-mail exchange with the teacher. The teacher wanted to know what the “big deal was” so I count her as well.

With maintenance coming in with a ladder (the ultimate jack-a-ninny distraction tool) and the counselor sending another aide to see if the first aide picked up the calculators, I had to call it a day. I physically, mentally, and emotionally threw up my hands. Where’s a Jack Daniel’s rep to interrupt my class with free samples when you need one?

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