Friday, March 26, 2010

The Attendance Office Just Don’t Understand

For years I’ve overheard conversations between students. Don’t get the wrong idea. It’s not like I make efforts to listen in on them. It’s just that teens have a tendency to ignore their inside voices as much as they tend to ignore those in their vicinities whom they have no use for (mainly teachers).

One of their primary topics is how their parents are always on their cases. You know how that goes. We’ve all been there. They’re always being told to take the garbage out or they should apply themselves or stop farting at the dinner table (yeah, that’s right).

I’m starting to feel the same way. No, I’m not talking about my parents nagging me (nor farting issues). I’m talking about the attendance office sending constant emails to all of the teachers about submitting on-line attendance reports. I understand the importance of attendance numbers (Do-Re-Me), but I can’t have my inbox polluted with countless reminders and get my work done.

Yesterday was the worst so far. There was an email from them at 8:00am with a list of those who had not submitted attendance records. Then there was one at 8:08am and then at 8:42am and then at 9:11am and so on. By 2:33pm I had twenty-five emails about attendance. Each one had a smaller and smaller list. I’m not sure why I needed all of those, especially since my name was never on any of the lists.

As a result, I’ve decided to get some revenge. To end this week, I’m going to bombard the attendance office with my own emails. Here’s the kicker, though. I’ll send actual scenarios I’ve experienced that have kept me in the past from immediately hitting the Send button on our attendance software. Because let’s face it, stuff happens.

It’s going to go something like this:

8:04am—Kid comes in without any pants on and a desk tied to him. It is tied to him by his own pants.

8:47am—One of my students beat up another student because he wouldn’t stop eating her mascara.

8:58am—Food Fight!

9:06am—A kid unplugged my computer to charge her cell phone.

9:14am—Another Food Fight!

And we’ll see where it goes from there. Enjoy your weekend, everybody!

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