Killing Your Number

Oh. My. Good. Ness. I had heard about this new building in the district, but I hadn’t laid my eyes on it until I drove by it this morning thanks to a little road construction. It is an in-school suspension (ISS) building. Apparently, our jack-a-ninnies over produced in their jack-a-ninnary so much that their in-school suspension can no longer be contained in school, but rather off-site.

The building is massive, and it has no windows. The word in the teachers’ lounge is that the students must wear these bright yellow t-shirts with a giant “ISS” in red on the front and back.

Hmmm. A windowless building, where the occupants, who are prone to violate rules and policies, wear bright colored uniforms. What does that sound like to you?

I mean it makes sense. The students in auto-shop, who are preparing for careers as mechanics, wear coveralls (the proper attire for such a profession). Why wouldn’t Future Criminals of America do the same thing?

I wonder if they have a “hole” to put students in for isolation or a yard to workout in? With such a prison atmosphere, why wouldn’t they? Hey, on the bright side, maybe they can get their G.E.D. while they are on the inside. Lord knows they weren’t going to get their diplomas by actually going through high school.

If I may be so bold—a chain gang ditty:

Principal found me guilty, teacher wrote it down (x2)
Just a student in trouble, I know I’m ISS bound

Many days of studying, many days of woe (x2)
And a yellow shirt everywhere I go

No pickin’ on nerds, No walking to classes (x2)
It’s all on account of stealing hall passes

It was early this morning, I started this trial (x2)
Five days in the ISS, and the principal didn’t smile

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to home-ec to see if they can bake a file into a cake.