There’s a tardy over here. There’s a tardy over there.

We got this e-mail from a fellow teacher:

If you have students coming late to your class this period from my class, they are tardy. The reason is that they decided to goof off today, and they may tell you that I held them back. I did. I don’t do it very often, but it seemed appropriate.

Uh, okay—way to take matters into your own hands, Steven Seagal.

A few things: first, policy is in place so we don’t use that as a punishment. What’s next? Planting the master of your test in their locker because they were sleeping in class?

Second, when kids are in super jack-a-ninny mode, I write up referrals and send them on their merry ways (see that whole policy point I just made). What you don’t do is keep these dopes in your presence for more than you have to. Get them out of there!

Third, have you ever thought of ripple effect? Let’s see; you pissed off some a-holes even more, then unleashed them for the other teachers to deal with. They’ll come into other classes now (after you have already started, no less) and start a rant about how much you suck which is guaranteed to whip the others in a tizzy. So much for my lesson plan!

Next time, could you do me a favor and just shake a hornets’ nest and toss it into my room? It has about the same effect as what you’ve done now, but at least I would have a chance to spend some time in a hospital and out of the classroom for a few days. I could use the break—like when inmates ingest cleaner so they can get a night outside their cells.