D.N.A.: Deoxyribonucleic Asses

Great, it’s progress report day. There’s nothing like the first progress report of the year to reveal nothing on how a student is doing. With all of the first year procedures, switching of schedules, and what-not, you’re lucky if you can give three daily assignments, grade them, and record them by now.

Sadly, this will be the three week mark until I get a mess of parent phone calls demanding to know why their child, who had an A at progress report time, failed the grading period even though I wrote, “Note: Only three daily grades have been recorded to date,” at the bottom of each.

I should tell them that their kid failed because of genetics. Who doesn’t take that message into consideration? It’s not just an obscure quote like the ones you get in people’s email signatures. I write stuff on there for a reason.

On top of that, I will send home a more accurate report next week and I always call home when a student is in danger failing, but there’s still time to turn things around, so don’t tell me you weren’t aware. Of course, if my calls are never returned, then I guess they can always claim ignorance.

Claim away because I believe it—ignorance.