College Legends

It seems that kids do read my bulletin board. I just assumed that they didn't. You would do the same thing if a steady stream of students stood in front of the daily posted agenda and asked, "What are we doin' today?"

But, I now have proof that they do because someone made a comment about a flyer giving the "who, what, when and where" on a college night hosted by SLHS. Sadly this sparked a chain reaction of comments, which left me asking, "Why???"

"Dude, I can't wait to get to college."

"I heard in college that girls and boys room together."

"That should save you time on getting shot down."

"Not if your mom's my roommate."

"Stupid, my mom never went to college."

"The showers are like locker rooms with that drain in the middle."

"You mean the ones you pee in?"

"Gross"

"No, you wear shoes, so you're okay."

"Cool."

"Yeah and if you don't, then you get garage green or something."

"I can't wait for the parties."

"When my sister was in college she dated a guy who drove a converted school bus. In the back was a full bar."

"I want to party with that dude."

"He dropped out."

"Cool."

"If he had committed suicide, then his roommate would have gotten all A's."

"Cool."

"When's that college night?"

"It was yesterday."

All of the sudden the light of excitement escaped their eyes. It was as if they saw that night as their one chance to get into college. I'm not sure why, but maybe it was a good thing—a sort of weeding device, if you will. They must be disappointed to be missing the rite of passage element of going to college. It must not be the same to drink and drive and piss in showers unless there's a Stafford loan involved.

"Hey sir, was college crazy for you?"

"Let's see there were the long nights preparing for class, a dirty clothes pile so big that it needed to be excavated rather than cleaned, and a relationship with an ATM, which resembled one a gambler would have one with a slot machine, so yes things were crazy. It's a lot like teaching."

With that thought, any excitement that was in their eyes was now absolutely gone… just like my eyes should be… if I still had my sanity that is.