If the hardhat were on the other head...

Today we got this email. The subject line read "Alert: Construction Workers!"

This email--from the administration--included rules. But the best part is that the rules weren't for us, but for the construction workers to follow when renovations are going on... next year. No, I think sending out emails about next year to a bunch of teachers, who are scrambling like mad to squeeze in all the state mandated materials, is a great idea. Why don't you go ahead and send out the school's schedule for the U.S. Tricentennial, while you're at it?

The rules outlined that sections of the school will be color coded for the renovation, so the workers will have to wear corresponding hard hats. I can only guess that we are being told these rules for the workers, so that we can snitch on them, if we see a violation. Yes, there's nothing funnier than putting a bunch of grown men on a rainbow color coded leash. I guess it's a reflex from all the perverting that covers the news.

Speaking of, the workers are not allowed to speak to the students either. Lucky stiffs, where do I sign up?

Hey, what if I did trade spots with one of those guys? That would be kind of cool. I could revolutionize positive reinforcement with my cat calls.

"Hey Johnny! Way to diagram that sentence the other day! You know how to work it!"

"Lu-cy! Why don't you bring that homework assignment over here and turn it in!"

"Hey Brittoni, nice essay girl! WOO HOO!"