School's In Forever

Well today was the first day of school. I can't quite say that I was encouraged by the morgues, which were my classes. The only signs of life came when they threw their student handbooks, emergency contact cards, and their copy of my class rules on the floor as they raced out of my classroom.

Another first day classic was the fact that there were seven kids in one period while there were 37 in the next. I have seen a better balance in Mike Tyson's checkbook. I have seen better balance in Courtney Love at the MTV awards. I have seen better balance in Dick Van Dyke walking into his living room. OK I will stop now. The sad thing is the classes were uneven because kids just didn't show up.

It was not hard to spot the potential headaches. The trick was to just watch the students walk in for the first time and if anyone high fived anyone else, then you got problems. Because you know that it wasn't a "bring on the Puritan poetry" high five.

One of them was even wearing a "I love freshman girls" t-shirt. Quick note: this was a junior class. Don't tell me that just didn't up his creep-a-tude factor by 50 points.

Not to worry though, I just finished reading some Emerson quotes and I am good to go. Nothing like Emerson to turn that frown upside down. Besides, it's not as bad as it sounds. It's just going to take a little while to get back into stride. No more rummaging through trashcans in the middle of the day for me until next summer.

"There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right."