Jimmy Cricket!

One of my kids, whom I refer to as Jack-a-ninny Bear because this school year was his hibernation season (face was stuck to his desk, probably with his drool), arose from the academic dead to state, “I’m going to miss this place.”

I bet he is! Where else can one go and do nothing and be given half-credit? That way if you slip up and actually do a lick of work, you get to pass. I’m mean, sure, your teacher calls home and maybe you’ll be punished for a while. You won’t be allowed to go out, or you can’t get on the Internet, but that just gives you more time to focus on your passion—doing squat.

And hey, you also have to sweat the fact that your teachers have gotten counselors and associate principals involved, so they can do paperwork on you. Oh no! Paperwork! How will the student ever continue to do nothing if there’s documentation?! At least I think there’s paperwork. No one really includes me on a student’s development, even though I’m the freakin’ teacher, unless it is one of those big old parent/teacher conferences where the parent demands why I gave their unique and special child a C- in my class. I know; it’s my fault.

I’d missed this place too, if it fostered me to start my life out in a hole. Who wouldn’t like Pleasure Island?