Welcome to my world.

We were in the library today doing research for a project and there's always a laugh that comes from that. Usually it stems from the students being in such a foreign environment--a library. To watch them is like watching a season of Mork and Mindy. Oh that Mork mistakes everything and their uses. Look, he's trying to crack eggs with a waffle maker. Uh oh, Mork's using a vacuum to clean the fish bowl again.

Watch out, my student is trying to use the punch clock to access the database.

To make things funnier is the librarian's reaction to their questions. For example, one of my kids asked to look at a newspaper to look at some news stories. Like the good librarian she is, she shows him the paper. And it went something like this:

Student: This is today's paper.

Librarian: I have yesterday's paper, but it's going to look the same.

Student: We're looking at Colonial America, so I need a paper from the 1700's.

Now, this is the point were the librarian reacts and it's--it's--the best way to describe it is that her eyes inflate until they're about to pop.

Librarian (after letting some air out of her eyes): Uh, we don't have those.

Student: How am I going to research Colonial America, if I can't see one of it's newspapers?

Librarian: Wellll, we have books and databases and...

Student: But I need to cover the newspapers from back then, so when can we get one here?

Librarian: I don't think that you understand. You see...

This is where I step in to diffuse the situation with, "I'm sorry, but those newspapers won't help you because they have all had the coupons cut out."

Placated, the student walks off and the librarian thanks me like I had just pulled her out of a burning building. Poor gal--she's just not use to the intricacies of dealing with students. Sometimes logic is the worst method to use on students to get them to understand. Sometimes you must use absurdity to combat absurdity.

I guarantee you one thing--that librarian has a story to tell at parties for years.