Rub-a-dub-sub

I had professional development yesterday, which kept me out the whole day and meant that someone else (namely a substitute teacher) was able to enjoy my little bundles of learning, if only for one day. So this morning I had the substitute notes on how the day went waiting for me on my clean desk (I had shoved everything into the drawers and closets, so
the sub didn't have to sit within the confines of Fort Messy all day). There was nothing surprising from her account. The exact same students that I said would cause problems did cause problems. The reports that I'm more interested in are the impromptu ones from the students, which, of course, always involve some sort of fibbing.

"The sub said we didn't have to take the test."

"The sub told us to pull the feet off of the desks."

"The sub wouldn't let me go to the restroom so I had to use your closet."

Ya know--same old, same old. But, what I love to hear the most is just plain old student perspective. They always think the sub "you picked" is the worst sub in the world. They told me that she was weird and all she did was stare at them the whole period.

Heck yeah she stared! Look at my classes! She could have sprained her eyes with all she had to stare at. You've got:

The kid with the three different colors in his hair

The hoochie mamma

That kid she thinks is the source of "that stench"

The human pin cushion (affectionately referred to as "Needles" by his "friends") with the new piercing after coming back from the restroom

That kid wearing the "'P' is for Playa" shirt

The girl that has to do her make-up for forty minutes straight

White Out for nail polish boy

The kid who does nothing but stare all period (maybe he's training to become a substitute teacher)

The boy with the hollowed out eyes who sucks on his arm all period (maybe he's training to become the Chupacabra)

The one that keeps carving things into his ankle

Yeah. She's weird.