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Wednesday, February 01, 2006

A code by any other name...

The school got an e-mail today from the administration concerning campus safety. It was informing us that we would use a code phrase if there were ever armed assailants in the building. So if someone gets on the PA and says, "Code Omega!" then we teachers are to lock our doors without revealing the situation, naturally. Keeping things under wraps with your class should be a breeze with something as sly as, "Code Omega!" being blurted across the PA. I can hear it now. "Code Omega! Code Omega! That is all!" Why don't they just have the principal come on the PA and exclaim, "Commence Operation 'Look Out'!"

Couldn't they have picked something that had some semblance of a typical announcement? Heck, class is interrupted with announcements all day long anyway.

"Attention students. This is just a reminder that your textbooks need to be covered."

"Pardon this interruption, but the vending machine in the boy's locker room is out of Diet Cherry Vanilla Lemon Coke Zero."

"Please excuse this interruption, but the vending machine in the boy's locker room is now stocked with cold, refreshing Diet Cherry Vanilla Lemon Coke Zero."

I guess their thinking was that they wanted a phrase that would standout, just in case, you know, we had gotten accustomed to tuning out the announcements. If they wanted to go with a shocking, yet encrypted message, then they should try, "Due to all the notes that students are taking, we are asking that you use both the front and the back of your sheets of paper in an effort to conserve paper."

I'd be locking my door if that was the code phrase or not. That sentence alone would be enough to give me the heebie-jeebies.

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